Sometimes I just can't stop thinking enough to turn off

[209] - help
The Girl with Glass Feet, Ali Shaw
This was a very difficult book to find. I remember reading a review about it in 2009; I guess when the book was first published, in the newspaper. I wanted to read it immediately. After that I began hunting for that book. What really annoyed me was that it wasn’t available in any of the stores like Landmark, Crossword or Higginbotham. I even tried searching it online but they were out of stock and later on they weren’t selling it anymore! I even thought about reading the e-book version of it but scratched the idea off because I wanted it paperback. There is something about printed books that puts it on a notch up higher compared to e-books.
And finally! One day (this year) while I was walking from the station to my aunt’s house there was this second hand book store and as I was gazing through the book shelf my eyes fell upon the familiar shades and text of this long lost book I was searching and I yelped with joy. I felt like I had found Pandora’s Box or something.

The story progresses gradually. Ali Shaw did a good job in portraying the locations very well. You can find yourself in an eerie island of monochrome hue throughout the story. Honestly, there isn’t much colour in the story or the characters (literally) but that is what fits in perfectly with the plot. The lives of the characters are explained inexplicably as they are all related to each other which rather create a monotonous drag. The imagery is almost perfect and the emotions are felt to the core. The ending however was climatic.
All that is there to it is that it is not your everyday fairy tale story. It’s got its own twist of science sprinkled with a realistic touch.

I was fairly disappointed though. It must have been because I was waiting for a very long time to read this book!

The Over Thinking Disease

I probably think they are going to come up with a scientific name for it provided one doesn’t exist already. Many teenagers or young adults might be lining up at the psychologist wondering why the gears of their so called growing brain has ceased to dysfunction and appears to be on high levels of dopamine even with the absence of coffee. I don’t know what causes this, internal or external conflicts. But whatever the reason maybe it messes you up real good.
I can go on thinking for hours, literally, and maintain the same posture. I’ll be stationery but my mind would most probably be a lost cause.
Few months back I was lost, mentally. I was preparing for my finals and I sat idle for two hours just thinking. It killed me because I could perceive my surroundings crystal clear, even the faintest sound heard like an elephant trumpeting. I tried to distract myself by practising origami which turned out futile because my attempts were half hearted. I felt like pulling my hair out and screaming. I could picture conversations which never happened in my head and I felt helpless. As a last resort I flipped to the last page of my book and just wrote whatever was going on in my head. I didn’t care about the grammar. I just had to put those images and thoughts on paper, pleading for help.
It was mentally exhausting. I don’t know how I overcame it (I must have slept it off or met somebody of importance) but I am glad I did.
And now it haunted me again.
I emphasize on the past tense because it wasn’t until a few hours ago that I cooled myself down. I was thinking about a lot of things and the decisions I have taken so far. My fuse had blown out mentally and I was on a rampage. But I cooled down after I spoke about it.
It’s better, for now at least.
And I am desperate for a change now.