The Over Thinking Disease

I probably think they are going to come up with a scientific name for it provided one doesn’t exist already. Many teenagers or young adults might be lining up at the psychologist wondering why the gears of their so called growing brain has ceased to dysfunction and appears to be on high levels of dopamine even with the absence of coffee. I don’t know what causes this, internal or external conflicts. But whatever the reason maybe it messes you up real good.
I can go on thinking for hours, literally, and maintain the same posture. I’ll be stationery but my mind would most probably be a lost cause.
Few months back I was lost, mentally. I was preparing for my finals and I sat idle for two hours just thinking. It killed me because I could perceive my surroundings crystal clear, even the faintest sound heard like an elephant trumpeting. I tried to distract myself by practising origami which turned out futile because my attempts were half hearted. I felt like pulling my hair out and screaming. I could picture conversations which never happened in my head and I felt helpless. As a last resort I flipped to the last page of my book and just wrote whatever was going on in my head. I didn’t care about the grammar. I just had to put those images and thoughts on paper, pleading for help.
It was mentally exhausting. I don’t know how I overcame it (I must have slept it off or met somebody of importance) but I am glad I did.
And now it haunted me again.
I emphasize on the past tense because it wasn’t until a few hours ago that I cooled myself down. I was thinking about a lot of things and the decisions I have taken so far. My fuse had blown out mentally and I was on a rampage. But I cooled down after I spoke about it.
It’s better, for now at least.
And I am desperate for a change now.

1 comment :

  1. Ah, I understand! I was a thinker back then when I was adolescent, but as I grow up, I realise that it's alright to think and daydream about things your brain actually do--it makes you whole. I'm a quiet type so I overthink a lot, but sometimes when it's tiring you, you can close your eyes and imagine something relaxing. It's still thinking, but it doesn't strain you to the stress level. Dreaming is believing, never stop dreaming no matter how old are you! Everyone is in perfect time to change, make it happen, and don't let yourself in the future regretting on what you don't do. :D Have a nice day! xx

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