A Writers Confession


Writers are nothing but the transformation of thoughts into words on paper. These thoughts reflect the individualism and life of a writer. Thoughts become public once they are inked on paper. They are no longer private and leaves the writer vulnerable. But the writer continues to take this risk and continues to write the story. And hence when you read a story, be it fiction or non-fiction, it always leaves a hint of the writers personal life. It is this unknown dangling silver thread that connects with the reader and makes a good story. Just the way family traits are passed down a generation, a story carries the traits of the writer. It is hierarchical to the writer and the stories written. The more stories written by the writer, more secrets of their life are revealed. It all comes in layers through the stories. And as we read one by one we unravel their secrets, like their favorite place or favorite food or their childhood fantasies, everything comes in layers finally opening up to the writer who might or mightn’t have tried hard to conceal those desires.

A writer knows that they have done a good job if the readers can find the emotions inscribed in between the lines. These emotions can make us laugh or cry. It is this rush of emotions that connect us stronger to the story and writer. Sometimes these stories take us to places which the writer wants us to experience. And it does, in our head. Our head is the barricaded kingdom where anything is possible. The writer forces these thoughts into our head and our mind conjures up a scene and our heart plays with the emotion. It is these three elements: our thoughts, our mind and our heart, which makes the writers idea, come in motion.

There is one writer, whose secrets strewn in her stories, I believe I have uncovered. It’s Cecelia Ahern. All the books which I have read so far are written by her. The common things which I have noticed in them (and which I believe are common to Cecelia too) are that most of her stories are centered on Dublin and Ireland owing to her roots. All her protagonists are revived in her stories through the support of their friends and family. So either Cecelia must have also experienced the same or she must consider them as an integral part of her life. She mentions places that exist. Sometimes the same place occurs in two books. For instance, River Liffey is mentioned in “The Gift” as well as “One Hundred Names”. Such occurrences make me believe that both the stories are linked and I’ll be expecting a crossover of characters. Once again this must mean (or at least I think so) that River Liffey is also important in her life. Then there is the way she describes places and objects. It’s obvious from the interviews and talk shows she has given that she is observant, but from the way she describes one can also say that she is sincere. She looks from all perspectives, even if they are impossible she makes them possible giving her stories the touch of a fairy tale. I could almost imagine her taking notes carefully as I read through her description of places and buildings. Also she does extensive research on public matters before she decides to put it in a book. I imagine her absorbing in each conversation and let the conversation weave its own story. I consider her a master in the art of words. She is one writer I sincerely look up to.

There is another writer, Jenny Valentine, I came across her during my schooldays and I found her writing style really peculiar and not appropriate. The first book which I read written by her is Finding Violet Park. As soon as I’d finished reading the first few chapters I found something odd about her writing style. Then I realized that her story never contained any conversations. It was written completely in the Past Perfect tense. I found it really odd. I mean a whole book containing at least 200 or more pages was written without any conversations. I thought she’d retreated to this style only in Finding Violet Park. But after I read excerpts of her other books she had maintained the same style. I find this really intriguing and odd because personally I prefer the past perfect tense to limit with short stories, not for novels.

I write this because I feel the urge to. I’ve held these thoughts within me for quite a long time. My opinion about Jenny Valentine, I had it ever since the 9th grade. I couldn’t keep them inside anymore.

The Unexpected College Life

It has been a month and a half since college started and I'm already having mixed reactions towards it. I don't think that it is right for me to have these feelings/reactions right now because well I have just started college. And it already feels like a year has gone by.
The weeks go by very fast. I feel like it's Monday when it's Friday. Time literally flies here. It becomes really late by the time I reach my hostel and I just have sufficient time to freshen up myself and the next thing I know I am eating at the mess and giving my attendance and it's 9 already.
By then I'll have no choice to sleep after 12.
I'm really getting sick of this.
Everything is getting stagnant here. I want to change. Again.
When I first entered college, I loved myself genuinely for the first time because it felt like I was losing my old self.
I'd describe my old self as an extreme introvert who didn't have the courage to speak to people. I was someone who never revealed my true self to others. In a group of 10 people there would only be one person who knew the real me and my temperaments. I feel that controlling one's temperament determines the character of a person.
When I entered college I was the extreme opposite of that and I absolutely loved it.
Now I feel like my personality is losing it's sheen and is becoming stagnant.
I fear that I'm becoming my old self where I'll have to walk around with a mask.
And I don't want that.
Right now I've become like a person who worries about every single tiny detail instead of looking at the bigger picture. I feel like killing myself for even acknowledging this feeling now! I agree that we have to worry and care about stuff at times. But worrying about it all the time only gets me more depressed and it just drives me insane and drifts me apart.
I don't want this to happen to me. I just want to be happy. Properly happy.
Is that too much to ask now?

Chasing an Aging Dream

You might not achieve what you set out to achieve when you pursue your dreams; there is a very real likelihood it won’t happen. But don’t you want to give yourself the chance while you can? Because even though you might not want to give up on your dreams, if you put if off long enough, your dreams could give up on you. Because dreams are not perpetual; they are temporary. Like many things in life, they have expiration dates.
Kovie Biakolo
I've begun reading the articles written by this amazing writer and they always leave me literally spellbound!
Today I was reading her article about dreams and realized that it was so much similar to what I had during my school days.

She began with a touching note. she described her dreams of being a sprinter in her early childhood days, how she had an amazing speed. But gradually life weighed on her dreams and slowly her speed decreased and her sprinting dream vanished.

This hurt me too. It relates a lot to the dream I had in my schooldays.
Back then I wanted to go to external competitions and win prizes and be recognized for my speed. Back then I worked really hard on my speed and stamina to be recognized for the sport. And it did pay off.
But it was in the end of everything. It was in my final year (10th grade) during my last race. I won because of my speed and I was so proud then. But then I was disappointed too. It was because I realized that after that race I'd never be able to showcase my speed. Academics became the mainframe over the last two final years of my school. And as a result my speed gradually wore off and my stamina worsened and I was never able to run like I used to.

But I hope all of that will change now because I'm going to University now. Right now I want to be the best athlete in that University even if it means starting from the scratch and also be the best academically too. That way I hope that I'll get selected for the semester program abroad.
I seriously want to go abroad. I want to know how the world outside it. I am so curious to know what lies beyond India.

When we pursue our dreams with our own labour and passion, that is when we will feel no regrets for having pursued that dream. That is when our dreams will be fulfilled. Otherwise we will experience enormous guilt and regret which will eat us inside out.

I was archiving through my posts which I had written in my school days and quite a few of them surprised me! I had mentioned the names of my friends and family so care-freely, Comparing that to now, I just think too much about mentioning names in a post! Also there was this one post from my journal which I had typed down in my blog and I am so thankful that I did because it really shocked me and took me by surprise when I read the content. It even resurfaced memories which I thought I never had...! (post here)

P.S: I've changed my blog address and I doubt that Google will replace it with the old one. So please relink me on blogger & bloglovin' too.

18th @AoiMumbai

My 18th birthday update post is late by 5 days. My friends: Tejasvita , Roli, Avneet and Divya surprised me on my 18th birthday by taking me to an authentic Japanese Restaurant in Bandra(W) called Aoi {Japanese for blue}.
We met up near school and bought the cake. Then we headed to Mt. Mary's Church Road. My friends kept on telling me that it was an Indian/Italian/Punjabi/South Indian cuisine restaurant and totally throwing me off the guessing track lol! :D

I was so happy when I entered the restaurant and found chopsticks and an open kitchen. I immediately realized that it was Japanese. Also there were Mangas and books about Ikebana/Tea/Haiku. It felt like a Japanese Haven!

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Greeted by Chopsticks

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Thank god the birthday cake was small. Otherwise it would be just too much for a serving of 5 people!

[081] - @AoiMumbai Chef & Serving
Open kitchen and Chef + waiters on duty

[084] - @AoiMumbai Interior

[082] - @AoiMumbai Interior

[080] - @AoiMumbai Interior
I loved their interior! The anime character on the wall made me to cry when I first saw it. Also there are a gazillion cranes with lights hanging from the ceiling.

[091] - Tuna Tartare Uramaki @AoiMumbai
Starter: Tuna Tartare Uramaki

[079] Tuna Tartare Uramaki @AoiMumbai

[085] - Wasabi Sauce & Soy Sauce @AoiMumbai
Side dressing - soy sauce and wasabi sauce
Honestly speaking I've never wasabi sauce before and I didn't even know how it looked like before! At first when I saw the "green mixture" I thought it was green chutney. I had a nice big "chopstik-full" of it. Within seconds I felt like a fire engine was required in my mouth.

[092] - Prawn Bento @AoiMumbai
Main: Prawn Bento with Veg tempura, California rolls, veggies and miso soup
For me the miso soup tasted like the most bitter medicine!

[083] - California Rolls & Tempura @AoiMumbai

[088] - Veg Noodle Stir Fry @AoiMumbai
Main: Veg Noodle Stir Fry (YUM)

[090] - Grilled Chicken Donburi @AoiMumbai
Main: Grilled Chicken Donburi
I love Japanese rice! True it might be sticky contrary to Indian rice which is well loose. But Japanese rise tastes so sweet and flavorful and it is so easy to eat it with chopsticks as well! But Indian rice is not.

[089] - Norvegian Salmon with Tossed Ramen @AoiMumbai
Main: Norvegian Salmon with tossed Ramen
This dish is the most costliest of all the dishes we ordered. But it was worth the price (Rs. 650). The salmon was absolutely delicious and the ramen was yummy! I even loved the plating. It looked like it had come straight off from one of the contestants in Masterchef.

  • Interior: 5/5
  • Food: 4.5/5
  • Service: 4/5 (Of all the waiters only one knew the menu and dishes properly. We had to rely on him while he juggled between different customers)

Aoi is really active on social networking sites as well. They commented on my photos on their Twitter. Also don't forget to check out their Website and Zomato reviews too!

And thanks to them (and my friends ofcourse!) I'll never forget my 18th birthday! Thank you Aoi! :D {And I'll most definately visit your restaurant again!}

Oh yeah! Since Google Reader is shutting down, follow my blog on bloglovin'!
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Rain Beckons


Thunder clasps in the sky
Birds sing on the road
Rain plummeted with the wind
Seasons missed by snow.

Sun hid amongst the raindrops
Night loomed over day
Parks befriended by rivers
As boots kill the rain.

Blinded by what foresees this scroll
Summer mist draped the skyscrapers
Rivers bled into homes
As the pen safely kissed the ink.

A tangled wire now hung like jewellery
As the rainy wind washed summer away.

It has been such a long time since I last posted a poem...!!!
Right now it is raining every alternate day in Mumbai and the climate is absolutely perfect!
Few days ago I saw a Japanese movie called Garden of Words - 言の葉の庭 (Kotonoha no Niwa) and that actually inspired me to write the poem.
It's a really beautiful movie and the animation is almost life like! The nature scenes were captured beautifully!
And right now at the moment I am watching a really *teary-eyed* drama called Koizora and it is also so sweet!
Also the gif in this post is also from that movie Garden of Words! :D
I'm having my fingers crossed that I'll blog soon! ;)

Project 365 - UPDATED!

When you experience an overdose of Bleach

Whoop June has begun and it's only a few days away from my birthday. My project365 is beginning to lag heavily after I saw its progress when I inspected it through a super tiring record of it in an excel sheet!
My university starts from July 15 and I just want to use my holidays upto max till then. And the best way for me to achieve that is either by watching anime or reading manga.

Long before my grade 12 exams started I had watched the Bleach anime till Aizen's battle.
After that the anime updates were really slow so I switched to the manga and stopped reading it for a while due to exams. I finally resumed reading it over the last three days and the pure revelations have left me in shock!


[SPOILER ALERT]

I started reading the manga from Ichigo's discovery of himself as a Fullbring{Humans born with extraordinary capabilities}. For once I was really happy that the manga moved on from the 15 year old Ichigo to a 17 year old Ichigo. I always wondered as in how a 15 year old boy could do so much in Hueco Mundo. I am so glad that Kubo Tite decided to age his characters for the further advancement of the story and to make it more believable.

After Ichigo regains his shinigami powers from the reiatsu of the Gotei 13 another story stirs in Hueco Mundo, The Quincy Lord "Juah Bach" decides to slaughter the Soul Society. He slaughters it and steals most of the captain's Bankais and also kills Captain Commander Genryūsai Yamamoto.

The Soul Society is in a turmoil when Ichigo arrives (who is also badly injured). This is when the Zero Squad arrives to heal Ichigo, Rukia, Renji and Byakuya.

Ichigo learns the truth about his family from the zero squad members. His father(Isshin Shiba/Kurosaki) was the captain of the 10th squad of the Gotei 13 while his mother(Masaki Kurosaki) was a Pure Quincy bit by a hollow as a consequence of Aizen's hollowification experiment. Due to this Ichigo has part shinigami/hollow and part quincy blood.
The latest revelation Ch 540 was that Ichigo's zanpakuto Zangetsu is not Ichigo's zanpakuto. Rather it was a manifestation of Juah Bach, who controlled his powers so far: The Getsuga Tenshō and The Getsuga.

[/SPOILER ALERT]

After I read till Ch 540 I was just shocked and thought about all the advancements Ichigo made with his power and mastering it and all the battles he fought, especially with the captains of the Gotei 13 and Aizen, were all due to his half Quincy blood!
If Ichigo was able to do that much with just his Quincy powers, then I seriously don't know what he's capable of with his Hollow powers...!!!

And all I can do is just wait for Ch 541 and see what happens. *sigh*

Thank You

When feeling at your weakest you end up showing more strength, when at your lowest you are suddenly lifted above higher that you’ve ever been. They all border one another, those opposites, and how quickly we can be altered. Despair can be altered by one simple smile offered by a stranger; confidence can become fear by the arrival of one uneasy presence. Everything is on the verge, always brimming the surface, a slight shake, a tremble sends things toppling.
How similar emotions are.
Thanks For The Memories by Cecelia Ahern


I finished reading this book day before yesterday and ever since then it has had me hanging on the edge. I'm not going to review it. I just want to say how it had me thinking.
This book gives a new meaning to the word Thank You. It shows how a single thank you can change one person's life and how we must value it.
If a person deserves to be thanked, then he must be. I think that's because by thanking a person, you are acknowledging that person's action. It motivates him. It makes him look up if he was ever down in a trench and was waiting to be lifted.
It doesn't matter if you inhibit yourself from telling a simple "Thanks" considering it as a fad not to, you still have to.
Because when you thank somebody, it makes them happy and wanted.
And I think that each and every single person in this planet is wanted.


Day 12 — The Person You Hate Most/Caused You a Lot of Pain


Dear You,

You caused me a lot of trouble. You lied me. You broke my trust one too many times. Because of that I've never been able to see the good side of you. And because of that I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you.
And hence I think I will carry a very long grudge against you. I know it's not healthy. But you made me do it.
Whenever I see you smile, I know that there are million lies behind it and not a single truth.
That is how you've painted your image for me.
I keeping searching for the real you. Even though I hold a grudge against you, there's still a little affection left for you in my heart.
And I think it is that affection that spares you every time you rip me apart with your lies.

Yours,
Me

--> 30 Day Letter Challenge.

Day 11 — A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To

Dear You,

I can no longer ask how you are because I know that your heart can no longer feel. You live in a place which is cold. You are required to succumb to the termites of the underworld. I wish I could talk to you now. I wish I could reduce your misery. But now is not my time.
When it is my time, I will talk about everything with you!
I will keep in touch with your family. I will remember all their happy times as well as the unhappy times. I will learn more about you from your family. This is because I fear that in your lonely world you might lose yourself.
So I will remember your life as it was and as it is by your family. And when my time comes, I will make you feel alive with your life.
Till then, wait for me.

Yours,
Me

--> 30 Day Letter Challenge.

Day 10 — Someone You Don’t Talk To As Much As You’d Like To

Dear You,

I've lost touch with you even though I didn't want to. I don't know what came between us that ceased any conversation. Was it time? Or was it just life? I don't know. Either way I wish we had talked more often when we had the time to and the chance to.
I didn't know that you wanted to talk with me until a little birdie told me. After that we talked and I somehow feel it's my fault now that we don't talk anymore. I feel like I've cut that thin silver chord we once had. I regret it.
I am really sorry and I hope you can forgive me.

Yours,
Me

I've decided that this time I'll resume my super long and pending 30 Day Letter Challenge. This time I mean to complete it just like my 365 project.
--> 30 Day Letter Challenge.

A Fortress in the Traffic

Today was our last day at Pune. So in the morning we decided to visit the Shaniwarwada Palace and Raja Dinakar Museum which are both nearby. We left at early noon so it was really hot and I felt really tired by the time I climbed the steep long stairs of the Palace. The layout of the palace was cleverly planned and fortunately there were enough trees to provide us shade!
After that we left for the Museum. I didn't use my camera because it didn't feel right for me to photograph artifacts. What I really loved about the display in the museum was the ancient dip-and-write-in-ink pens.
And I just wish I remember it's proper name, the dip in ink pen thingy of the ancient days.
I also saw Palm leaf paper and it was so cool!

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Stuff at the courtyard in our Guest House.

can of dried paint
A can of dried paint.

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These Chandeliers have been up ever since the time of Jawaharlal Nehru, i.e. from 1960s at our dining area. 

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Layout of the Shaniwarwada Palace.

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The Palace entrance and layout (2).

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Well, I did say we left early noon. So the sun was right above my head and it was super hot! I had no way of preventing my eyes from squinting...!

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It was seriously so hot! I mean all the locals were traveling with head-scarves and sunny hats. And it seemed only our group wasn't protecting our heads enough. So we had to cool ourselves off with some Sugarcane juice which was really sweet and refreshing!   

[045] - bicycle
A bicycle leaning against the palace walls of Shaniwarwada.

To Travel is To Fall in Love

Today I had my studio test + portfolio interview for MIT Institute of Design, Pune.
The studio test consisted of two parts: situation test and material test. In the situation test we were divided into groups and were given a theme. Our group got the colour "Black" and had to present a play on it. We decided to portray a comic side of the movie "Black" starring Amitab Bachan and Rani Mukerji. I played the role of a "real blind girl". We even had to make props in the given time limit which was 20 minutes for preparation and 3 minutes for the skit. I made the director's mike using newspaper. Then the other members made black glasses and we made a blind person's stick by attaching 3 rulers each 30 cm long. We received a good applause for our play.

Then the material test was based individually. Everybody were given 1 plastic bottle, 2 plastic buttons, 1 plastic bag, 5 bob pins, 1 meter metallic wire, 1 white sheet, 1 drinking straw and 1 Styrofoam cup and were asked to make a TOY out of it. I made a caterpillar. And you can create sounds with it. We had to do it in 45 minutes.

After that we had an half hour break and then the personal interview + portfolio review. Before the interview I was so nervous and I was thinking constantly that no matter what happens I should give my 110%.

When it was my chance the interviewers (the people who interviewed me) asked me all the technical terms related to photography and why I switched from a digi cam to DSLR. Then they asked me to recite one of my poems. Later when they were going through my portfolio and when they came to the photography part of it all their eyes shifted towards my photos and I realized that my photos had captured their attention and I felt really happy then! And then it went pretty well. Atleast I was happy when I came out of the room!

Then we returned to our guest house around 5.30pm and there was gorgeous sunlight surrounding everything! It was an utter beautiful sight...!So I went out with my camera and began photographing things.

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Bokeh against drying leaves and sunlight is amazing!
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The beauty and colour of drying plants mesmerizes me.
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A chair left alone in the street, unattended and lonely.
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Civilization, kids riding on a bike with balance wheels. I had to take the photo fast because I'm a people-shy person!
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More civilization as people go for an evening walk.
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Barbed fence against bokeh, which is once again Love.
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The entrance to the Guest House where I'm currently staying. The words written below it are a Hindi translation of 'Guest House'. It's read phonetically as "ath-ee-thi  grh-ha".
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There were gazillion bougainvillea like this of different colours and there was also gardens where only bougainvillea grew. I was in heaven when I saw this! 
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The entrance (door) to the guest house.
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Orange bougainvillea
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Some random flower growing along the entrance to the guest house.
The one thing I noticed as I photographed was less people were "glaring" at me than usual when I roam with a camera.
I got this amazing feeling from the surroundings just by walking around and absorbing my surrounding. I felt beautiful for the first time about travelling apart from my love for it and it felt amazing!